The main reason why I wanted to do this 365 project (aside from keeping myself busy) is because I want an opportunity to flex my creative muscles. I believe that we are al creative beings at our spiritual cores, however most of us spend our lives caught up in the daily rat race just trying to survive, that we forget about our inherent creativity. I think I might be guilty of believing that creativity is a luxury that I either can't afford to have or have the time for. The truth is, I can't afford not to have it.
I don't think I would have ever used the word "creative" to describe myself, and that feels like such a shame and a disrespect for my creative inner being. I feel like since I started the Artist's Way in-world group last month, that I am angry for not giving myself the nurturing that I need. The exercises in the book, the discussion and the ritual of keeping morning pages has really got me thinking about what being creative is and what it means to live a creative life.
I'm realizing that on the rare occasions when I do tap in my creative spirit (like writing a short story for example), it comes from someplace beyond me. The flow of creativity is like a surge of energy that rather than coming from inside me, comes from some place else and flows through me, filtering through my unique life experience and world view. My creative expresson is just as much a reflection of me as it is a reflection of the world we live in.
I don't know if this making any sense.
I want to get out of this emotional place I am in, of wanting so badly to be creative and create something. It is my very wanting that is blocking me. I know where to go, to a place of inner peace and allowing. If I could drop all my negative self-talk that tells me "I am not a creative person", and just allow the creative energy that is my birth right to flow, I know I can create something worthwhile.
I had kind of an epiphany today about all of this. I have lots of ideas and inspiration for creative projects in SL. I can see ideas and concepts in my head for 3D sculptures. The trouble is, I have no technical skills to execute any of it.
The silver lining in all of my muddle, is that with some time, effort and a healthy dose of stubbornness (I have an over abundance of that), learning new skills is something that is within my reach.
Thanks for reading my rambles :))